Highland at Heart: Laura's Yoga Journey

I lived at 93 Grand Avenue until I was twelve years old, just down the street from Yoga Squared.  The fire station on Dodge Street was behind us and when the men got off duty they’d climb over the fence to throw back a few beers with my parents.  (Maybe that’s why my brother is a fire/medic)??  I used to walk up to Capri Pizza for my mom to pick up the pepperoni pizza that she would order for us and pay with the coupons that were cut from the boxes the pizzas came in.  My brother and I would walk to the Highland Theater on Saturdays and pay a dollar to spend the afternoon watching cartoons.  All the neighborhood kids would play kickball in the street with the gas attendants of the old Sohio gas station that was across from my house. I lived at the library in the summers.  I attended Portage Path Elementary and am still in touch with some of my grade school classmates.  When I met my husband many years later he lived next door to the house I grew up in, while I was living in one of the apartment buildings on West Market Street in the heart of the Square.  Needless to say, Highland Square is a part of my existence.

Moving forward a number of years, I currently live in West Akron and am a married mother of two beautiful girls, one in high school, one in college.  I work full-time at an oftentimes stressful job.  My parents have health issues so I try to help out as much as I can.  I’m an active volunteer.  Just like so many of you, I was(am) always busy and rarely made(make) time for myself.  I was sleep deprived as my insomnia that I’ve had since college, had gotten worse.  As a result, I was exhausted and being pulled in so many directions, trying to make everyone happy, trying to give, give, give until I reached a point in my life at the end of last year where I felt I didn’t know who I was as a person. As Me.  As Laura.  And I realized that although I had a good life overall, I was also incredibly sad, quick to anger and felt like I was sinking into an abyss.  Around this time, a co-worker of mine was sharing with us that her daughter was opening a yoga studio in Highland Square.  And as she excitedly shared the details of the studio’s progression, I became a little excited, partly because I have watched her daughter grow up over the years and partly because I had always been intrigued about yoga but was never brave enough to look into what it was about.  Plus this studio was opening in my beloved Highland Square! 

I decided to sign up for a beginner’s workshop in February and thus began my romance with yoga.  I. Love. It.  I love everything about the studio, I felt at home the first time I walked in.  Maybe because I remember frequenting the same space when it was a video rental store back in the day???  The instructors are down to earth, caring, and take a personal interest in the yogis.  I regularly run into fellow yogis outside of class and in class have reconnected with people whom I haven’t seen in forever.  I love that yoga is an ongoing practice and that there is so much to learn – trust me I have SO much to learn.  I love that you are doing it for yourself and not for others.  I love that I can practice at my own beginner’s pace and I don’t feel awkward.  I love that I don’t feel envious seeing someone fluidly moving into an inversion as I flip my dog on top of my neighbor.  I love closing my eyes, learning about the breath and how the poses affect parts of the body.  I love the names of poses and figuring out why they’re named that way.  And I love that some days I’m just not able to connect with the breathing or letting my mind relax, or being just plain gawky in learning some of the poses and that that’s okay!

 And slowly over these past 8 months I feel like I have regained some inner peace – I’m not mom, daughter, wife, sister, employee or volunteer while I’m in class.  I’m ME.  I’m not perfect and that’s perfectly okay.  I feel better about myself, I have lost almost 20 lbs, I’m more flexible and have toned up.  I am sleeping better.  Most importantly, with the help of yoga I am learning to let go of the guilt that I have built up over the years in not being able to do more or help more or solve all the world’s problems, lol!  Yoga is ageless and I look forward to continuing my physical, spiritual and relaxation journey.

Namaste,

Laura 

Returning to The Source

Returning to The Source: Cortney's Spiritual Journey

Anxious

Self-medicating

Incessantly right ALL the time

Egocentric

Negative

Angry

Irritated

Disconnected

I know what you are thinking…sign me up to be around that person!

Well, that person was ME, and unfortunately, that meant I got to hang with that person ALL the time through my early years into my late twenties.

Fortunately, life brought me opportunities for growth…lots of them.

And yoga and Reiki were my spiritual connections that shined the light on what was “real” during those times.

A decade of yoga has afforded me physical benefits such as: I can easily touch my toes, my blood pressure is an easy breezy 106/63, side crow is accessible on most days.

But, as I get older I quickly realize the real hurdles are:

·       Can I watch my breath for a full 60 minutes without incessant brain chatter,

·       is there an underlying sense of peace instead of anxiety in the back drop of my life,

·       can I find a way to release the resistance that I’ve accumulated on my physical trail?

With yoga and Reiki, most days, the answer to these questions are a resounding hell YES!

Years ago, during my teacher training, I learned about the 8th and last limb of yoga: Samadhi. “The state in which you reach union with the divine”

I remember thinking...Seriously!? I want THAT.

Yoga and Reiki provide me with glimpses into this state of being; the more I practice the longer the glimpses last. Sometimes its only seconds, sometimes hours.

Life continues to bring me more opportunities for growth. Always at the perfect time.

Enter Yoga Squared…

After two years of not teaching yoga and only practicing at home, I found YS, a truly special community like none I’ve seen over the last decade.

And again, I began to grow and evolve.

The biggest shift is with my perspective…

I see glimpses of the “old” me in others’ stories, not the drunk or angry me, instead, now I see it for what it really is…the confused, disconnected me.

But it makes me happy, not sad because I know these souls are teetering on the edge of realizing their wholeness, their perfection, their freedom. Just as I am.

The Tao - my favorite spiritual text - says it best:

Watch the turmoil of beings,

But contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe

returns to the common source.

Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don’t realize the source,

you stumble in confusion and sorrow.

When you realize where you come from,

you naturally become tolerant,

disinterested, amused,

kindhearted as a grandmother,

dignified as a king.

For me – yoga brings me back to that “common source!”

AND that’s why I’ve been having a full-on love affair with YS for the last 9 months. Because it has not only reignited my deep love for yoga and life (and my husband who just started practicing, can I get an Amen!!), I see it creating a space for so many to open to this transformation. Every single Yoga Squared teacher, I SEE YOU, and extend my sincerest gratitude for creating a space that allows us easy access to “returning to the source” as the Tao says.

The words from before having now shifted…

At ease

Clear and sober

You can be right this time (although my husband might say differently)

Mindful

Content, yet eager for more

Grateful

Connected

My spiritual connection, often found through the practice of yoga, has made me a better wife, a better sister, daughter, friend, employee, and my favorite…a better mom. (I love you Zach!)

All of you, the YS community, make me better just being in my life, whether you know it or not, because it’s our subtle exchange of energy that I feel and cherish!

AND that, my friends, is yoga!!

xoxo

Square Rat Meets Yoga Mat

Hey friends hey! It’s your girl TT from the front desk! First off I would like to thank my KitchenAid for providing me endless motivation to exercise more, my extensive collection of off brand black leggings which are incredibly forgiving, and last,  all my haters. Just kidding-I don’t think I have too many haters, or at least I hope not.  

Around five years ago, while incarcerated, I started developing an interest in yoga. Five years ago I was a very different person then I am now. I was serving time as a result of a very serious drug problem I had developed through my teenage years. My loving mother (god bless her) dropped off a picture book of yoga poses to the community correctional facility I resided in at the time. I understood that my life was out of order, and I thought maybe a yoga picture book would solve the problem, so I started to practice a few of the poses. It did definitely help, but little did I know, my journey was just beginning.  

Fast forward two years, and my interest in yoga was once again awakened- this time in rehab.  Though this time, I had furthered my practice to actually involving an instructor and a mat; I was coming up in the world! I was also finally willing to give sobriety a try, and I'm happy to say I have been sober and practicing yoga ever since.  

My love affair with yoga began in earnest when Yoga Squared opened. I had been practicing off and on at another studio. That studio abruptly closed and in the same month I realized one of my oldest friends was opening her own studio in Highland Square! Having been born and bred a true square rat, this was more than perfect for me.  Even better, I get to sit at the desk and meet hundreds of amazing people who inspire me every single day.   I never felt that I really fit in at other studios and Yoga Squared completely changed that.   I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts into one of the best damn communities I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of.  

As a result of being welcomed so warmly into this community, I have been able to grow massively in my practice and my emotional and spiritual space.  Being new at yoga can be very intimidating and I never felt I had the right body, the right mindset, or even the right look and I have finally figured out that NONE of that is a real thing!  Yoga Squared has provided me with a space to giggle and fall, and even cry when i need to do it.  I can be vulnerable with the people around me, and provide space for others to be vulnerable with me.  I have also finally been able to be proud of my body! I feel strong and healthy, this is the first time in my life i have been able to touch my toes!

Y’all may not know it, but getting to know you, and your names (most of the time) has been one of the best experiences of my life.  Meeting you, your mothers, your kids, and even sometimes your dogs is my absolute shit!  The way I live my life today is still certainly not completely balanced (as anyone who has practiced next to me might have noticed), but I am capable of being present, and being open with the people around me, and it is rewarding beyond belief.  I look forward to practicing with you in the future, or just sitting on the floor eating potato chips, whichever one feels right in the moment.  I love all of you, thank you for all you do!

Fist Bumps + Arm Pumps: Devon's Yoga Story

First, I’d like to thank the Lawd (Lord), my family, RuPaul, EarthFare Purple Velvet Smoothies, MAC, Schmidt’s Natural Deodorant, Old Navy and the Yoga Squared judges’ panel for this illustrious honor.

Anyway, I’m Devon (Deh-vin) Fennell (Fin-nell) , a goofball raised on the mean streets of...West Akron. You’ve probably seen me sweating, struggling or frog posing in class before and thought, “Why does she sweat so much?”

The answer is heredity.

Or maybe you thought, “What brings this magical creature to class when she’s not being a top-notch writer/petsitter/amateur comedian?”

Well, I’ll tell you.

Yoga Squared helped me during a really rough time in my life.

Back in December, while everyone was feeling the holiday cheer, I was extremely frustrated and overwhelmed by my job and a few other things that were beyond my control. Under normal circumstances, I’m the one who tries to keep things real, light and positive. I’m also the one who finds humor in almost every situation instead of getting all “Lifetime movie of the week”. But during that time, my spirit was heavy, the lightness and joy I usually had was nowhere to be found, my body was constantly knotted up from all of the stress and my blood pressure was out of control.

Now, I’ve practiced yoga in the past, but I never went to a studio on a regular basis.

I stumbled upon a yoga workout on television years ago and would follow along from time to time. Then, I made an effort to try some of the community classes offered in the area. I enjoyed yoga, but it kind of got lost in the shuffle between Zumba and other booty shaking cardio classes. And while I did it randomly, I never forgot how good my mind and body felt after yoga. I knew I had to get back to it. So, when I saw Yoga Squared’s new student special on Facebook, I took it as a holiday miracle from Sweet Baby Jesus. It was like he smacked my forehead with his tiny, cherubic hand. I think he also said, “Put down that pint of Ben & Jerry’s Salted Caramel Core and take your behind to class” in his supersonic voice.

Of course, that didn’t really happen, but if it did, I know that SBJ would keep it real. Anyway, the new student special ended up being the perfect way for me to ease back into yoga.

From day one, I felt like I belonged at Yoga Squared. Nikki just has a smile that makes you feel like you’re an old friend. I knew that she truly cared about everyone who walked through the door. At Yoga Squared, I was a person – not another membership opportunity. That instantly put me at ease.

Another thing I immediately loved was the diversity in the classes. They weren’t filled with yoga bots (no offense to yoga bots) who were decked out in expensive outfits. Instead, I saw people of all shapes, sizes, ages and colors. Ahhhnnnd, there were dudes in classes, and dudes teaching classes. Holy schizballs! Who knew all of that actually went down in the real world?!? I did, but I never witnessed it in the classes I attended over the years. I only saw it on the series of tubes (the Internet). Man, it was like a yoga aha moment. I finally felt like I found the ideal place to practice.

Once I started attending classes on a regular basis, I felt the joy and lightness that I thought I had lost returning. My body started to feel better (my massage therapist can testify if you need her to), my mind wasn’t constantly in overdrive and my blood pressure wasn’t at terror alert red all of the time. Cue the Hallelujah Chorus, because I found my sweet spot.

I truly appreciated the March Madness Challenge because it helped me develop a more consistent practice. It also empowered me to try the higher-level classes. In that 31 days, I took sooooo many classes (Sometimes three or four a day. Hell, that was better than Netflix and stuffing my face with cake all day!) and I surprised myself all the time (shout out to my junior high headstand which is now a freshman headstand). I wasn’t in it for the prizes. I was in it for my health and well-being. It ended up being the best thing that I’ve done for myself in a long time.

Dev's Junior High headstand ;)

Overall, the biggest thing that I’ve learned on the mat is that some things are just out of your control. In life, you’re going to wobble or struggle just like you might wobble or struggle on that Manduka, Jade Yoga, Gaiam or T.J. Maxx ten-dollar holler mat. And you’re going to get frustrated. But you can’t let those wobbles or struggles steal your joy. You just have to keep it moving and find a great group of people who will support you along the way. And what I know for sure is that I have found a wonderful group of people at Yoga Squared.

Dev's freshman headstand! (More like graduated with honors, right?!)

Thank you for putting up with me...and now, my parents. ;) I love you all.

Smooches and snaps. Hugs and high fives.

Fist bumps and arm pumps,

devon 

Dev's mom at Yoga Squared!

Casey's Yoga Journey

Hi friends! I am so honored to share my ongoing yoga journey with you!  It is very long but it’s my hope that in sharing my story, someone else will be helped through yoga in the way that yoga has helped me.  I am beyond grateful for this practice that has brought so much joy into my life…but before I get to the good stuff, I better start at the beginning.

It all began for me back in 2014 when a very close friend of mine, who is an ultra-inspiring kids’ yoga teacher, got me the gift of my very first yoga mat.  I subsequently happened to win a gift certificate to a local studio.  The universe was telling me something, and I, although incredibly hesitant and nervous, decided to listen.  In January 2015, I signed up for a beginners’ yoga series and within minutes of the first session beginning, I was hooked.  I attended classes almost every day and was feeling amazing- both inside and out.  I loved the spiritual aspects of yoga just as much as the physical aspects and committed myself to learning as much as I could about the yoga world.  For about 8 months, I was in a routine of practicing regularly.  In August, when it was time to go back to school (I’m a first grade teacher), I let life get in the way and yoga became a once-in-awhile activity for me.  As much as I wanted to attend classes every day, I was just not in the right mindset.  Unfortunately, as the school year went on, work and family and everything else became priorities and my own self-care got put on the back burner.

Fast forward to March of 2016, I woke up one morning thinking I had an ear infection.  I had never had one before, but I figured I was susceptible to such a thing in working with little kids.  A few days later, the entire right side of my head and my entire right arm went numb and tingly.  No doctor could figure out what was wrong with me, so they sent me for an MRI.  I got the phone call two days later from a doctor who told me the results revealed “textural changes on the brain consistent with Multiple Sclerosis.” Um…what??  I had no idea what that meant, but they said I needed to see a neurologist immediately- so I did.  That neurologist told me we would do everything we could to rule out MS.  However, after another month filled with all kinds of uncertainty and tests and procedures, a second MRI showed even more damaged spots on my brain and my doctor gave me the news I will never forget- “Miss Smith, this is, without a doubt, MS and we need you to come in and get an infusion treatment immediately.”  At the time, I knew little about MS.  I just knew we needed to try to find a way to stop my brain from becoming even more damaged.  To say I was scared was an understatement.  I did what the doctors told me, got started on a medication, and thought I was good to go.  This was going to be okay.  I was going to be okay.  What I never expected was that, in July, even though I had been giving myself shots of medication 3 days a week, at a follow up MRI, I had even more active damage on my brain.  I honestly cannot describe how hopeless that felt.  I was doing everything the doctor told me to do.  I was starting to accept this new way of life. How could this be?

Me at an infusion treatment on the day I was diagnosed with MS.

Over the next 6 months I hit rock bottom.  I’m talking the lowest and darkest of places I have ever been in my life.  I knew depression was a very common symptom of MS, but no internet research could have prepared me for the incredible sadness and emptiness I felt.  At times it became unbearable.  As the holiday season came to a close and the new year began, I told myself that I would no longer let MS control my life.  I have always been a happy, bubbly person by nature and this person I had become was not Casey.  One day around then, a Facebook post about a new yoga studio in Highland Square came up in my news feed and I figured I should try it out as a part of my plan to take better care of myself.  I expected that I would go to a class here and there if I liked it.  What I didn’t expect was to fall in love.  Not only with yoga all over again, but with the amazing community of yogis at Yoga Squared.  I felt accepted and welcomed every time I walked through the doors.  As I attended more classes, I noticed I started to feel better both physically and emotionally.  I decided to throw myself into a regular practice again.  I felt even better.  I decided to eat more mindfully.  Better still.  I decided to practice using mantras each day.  This was getting GOOD.  One day in March I realized I wasn’t depressed anymore.  I was happy.  I felt like myself again. I was in disbelief…practicing yoga both on and off the mat had literally saved my life.  I should also mention that along my journey, I’ve had the support of an amazing group of family and friends who have stood by me through it all.  I can’t tell you enough how meaningful their support has been in my life.

My little family

My family supporting me at the 2017 MS Walk in May- 1 year after my diagnosis

You might not be able to visually see my yogi transformation, but when you see my smile or hear my laugh, you’ll know how it has changed me. Yoga has taught me so much about myself and about the world around me. It has helped me to shift my negative thoughts to a place of positivity.  It has built a confidence that has caused me to realize that I can do hard things.  Most importantly, it has taught me to become a WARRIOR and that things can always be better.  I want you to know that no matter who you are and no matter how you are feeling, yoga has the power to help you and to heal you in ways you never imagined.  And real talk- I do still have days sometimes where I don’t feel well.  But I have learned that it is okay to have those days every now and then, and to let them go and get back to the positive.  I have MS, MS does NOT have me.  I have been so inspired by and so grateful for how yoga has improved my life that I have decided to pursue Yoga Teacher Training beginning in October.  It is my hope that I can eventually teach yoga to others with MS so I can help them see the incredible impact yoga can have.

My yoga journey is always helping me to grow and learn.  Thank you for being a part of it and thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. J  

Much Love and Namaste,

Casey

Kristine's Journey to Yoga

What an honor to be asked to share my yoga journey with you! I am actually new to yoga, but in the short amount of time I have been practicing, I have fallen completely in love with it. And I have also fallen in love with my Yoga Squared family and feel beyond grateful that this is where I landed! I tend to be a bit of a private person, but this practice has become such a huge and inspirational part of my life, I'm happy to share how yoga has helped me accept and work through a pretty challenging time. I apologize-- although my time practicing yoga is relatively short, the story that goes along with it is long.

It is very fitting to be sharing my story this month, in May. As last May, 2016, I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, at 31 years of age. Even writing about it now, I still feel like there aren't words to describe my feelings at hearing that news. On a quick weekend trip last April, I noticed a slight dimpling in my right breast. Within a month's time, that dimple grew into an aggressive 10cm tumor. On the day that I had a mammogram, the physician told me, “Your life is about to change very quickly.” And she couldn't have been more right.

Within a few weeks, I had a series of scans, a multitude of doctors appointments, blood work, two separate biopsies, and genetic counseling. It was determined that I have a genetic mutation of the BRCA2 gene, which increases a woman's lifetime risk of breast cancer up to to 87%. This gene also has a high risk for recurrence of breast cancer, high risk for development of ovarian cancer, and increased risk for development of several other types of cancer. My long fight against cancer started with chemotherapy in June. My 20th and final round of “hard” chemo was completed at the end of October. I let my body and immune system recover for a few weeks, then had surgery to remove the remaining cancer in November. Along with removing the right breast, I had my left breast and both ovaries removed preventatively as well, due to the high risk of recurrence or development of new cancer. I started radiation therapy in January and completed 30 rounds at the end of February. I continue to get preventative chemo-type infusions every three weeks, which will finish this coming August.

I struggled with how to tell my loved ones, especially my 8 year old son, Ethan, what was happening to me. Fortunately, I have been blessed with an amazing boyfriend, Dave, wonderful parents, and extremely supportive friends and coworkers that have cheered me on and carried me every step of the way. But there are some things that my family and friends couldn't do or fix for me- the internal mental and emotional battle that cancer brings. Like how to deal with reading about and being told my statistical likelihood of survival over the next FIVE years. Or how within two weeks of being diagnosed, I had to make a decision about whether to postpone chemo in order to harvest eggs for future chance of pregnancy, or to start chemo right away. Or how by the end of July, I had lost every last hair on my head and could no longer hide my diagnosis. Or how after surgery, I wasn't sure I was even a woman anymore, having lost both of my breasts and ovaries. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I don't even recognize the person staring back at me. Or feeling like for someone who strives to be organized and in control, I have lost control of not only my own body, but my life. And finally, worrying every single day that the cancer has returned; that every headache/cough/general symptom means we missed something and the cancer has spread.

This is where yoga enters my story. Immediately following surgery, I started physical therapy to regain range of motion in my arms from the breast and lymph node removal. I had played with the idea of yoga through home DVDs in the past, and thought trying out a yoga class might help with recovery. I took a seven week session at the YMCA starting in January, then was introduced to Yoga Squared in February by a friend who had recently joined (hey Casey!). Dave very graciously attended a couples yoga class with me led by Kevin and Gwendolyn, and I knew immediately I liked the studio. The following Monday I attended a 5:30am class with Nikki, and was hooked.

There are so many parallels between yoga practice and life. And the journey on my mat has helped me truly understand, accept, and get through the emotions of the past year better than any therapy session or antidepressant ever could. Prior to cancer, running was my choice of stress relief. I vividly remember attempting a run during my months of chemo, and sitting on the side of the trail crying after my body started shutting down a half a mile in. I was furious at body, furious at myself, and furious at life. But at yoga, Nikki frequently encourages self-compassion and self-gratitude. And slowly, I have learned to acknowledge that my body has been working hard over the past year, and I should thank it, not be angry. Every day I get physically stronger, I notice poses getting a little bit easier. But every day I also get mentally stronger, and notice that the anxiety and stress get a little bit easier. Like yoga, life is a journey where we have good days and bad days. Some days we strive toward our edge and other days we need to rest and restore. I don't have to be perfect. If I stumble, it's just an opportunity to get back up and try again. If things are hard, I can focus on my breath to get through it.

Yoga is also teaching me self-acceptance. After surgery, I spent a lot of time focused on the outside of me. The lack of hair. The lack of breasts. The scars. I wondered what other people must think when they see me. But with yoga, I spend so much more time thinking about what's on the inside. I am figuring out who the new me is. Im transitioning from the “girl with cancer” to the “girl who does yoga.” And that makes me happy. I find comfort in knowing I am doing everything I can to reduce my stress level, and take care of my mind and body.

Shavasana is my favorite part of practice, as it forces me to keep my mind in the present. I have a mantra that frequently runs through my mind during this time: “I am strong. I will fight. I will live”.  All through treatment I have thought I have to live for Ethan and Dave and my parents. Then one morning during shavasana this crazy thought popped into my head: I also have to live for myself. I am also important. Previously in life, I have felt so guilty doing anything solely for myself. But yoga is teaching me it is okay to take time to get to know yourself too. Life is short. Do something that makes you happy, too. And by spending a little time on myself, I am finding I have a whole lot more inside to give back to others.

Finally, every morning, Nikki asks us to set an intention for ourselves and for our practice. And every morning I set my intention on loving myself, accepting myself, staying positive, and taking life one day at a time. Being present is the best gift we can give to ourselves and to others. And when I'm on my mat, I don't have to dwell on the challenges of the past year, or worry about what the future might hold. I just have to worry about the next breath in, and the next breath out.

Namaste,

Kristine

Kristine, Dave, and Eithan

My Yoga and Life Journey- Martina Jozanovic

Hello everyone!  I'd like to share my yoga journey with you because I took a ton of yoga classes during March Madness and because #IamMartina.  No really though, these past few months of being a part of the Yoga Squared Community have been amazing and life-changing for me, and I wanted to share a bit about myself with everyone (because a lot of people were wondering “who is this yogi phantom who haunts Yoga Squared but nobody is really sure of what she looks like?”).

So March Madness is over, and I can’t believe how many classes I went to last month--42!  I’ve grown within myself so much in these past few months that I have been a part of the Yoga Squared Community.  I try to attend class nearly every day and it always gives me something to look forward to after working or on the weekend.  I’m so glad for the friends I’ve made and I hope to meet many more of you!  I truly love and appreciate everyone I see and interact with at the studio.

I moved to Akron on Thanksgiving weekend 2016 to live with my boyfriend (hello Jeff, love you!).  Past the age of 18, I’ve spent my life west of Cleveland, so adjusting to a city where I didn’t know many people was difficult.  I wasn’t used to the stores, I had to change doctors etc... all that stuff that nobody really likes to do. I had also been used to having access to a ton of yoga studios all over Lakewood, but I didn’t frequent them very often as there wasn’t a community vibe like there is with YS – I also wasn’t ready to dedicate myself to intense practice.

I brought up to my boyfriend how odd it was that there wasn’t a yoga studio in Highland Square yet!  It seemed like the perfect location and community for a yoga studio.  Within the same week, I saw an advertisement on Instagram for a week of free classes at a newly-opened yoga studio (Yoga Squared!) – it was meant to be!  I had no idea how this one little ad would change my life.

Going way, way back … I was born in Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1989.  In the early 1990s, a civil war erupted in the region over ethnic disparities.  My parents decided it was best for them to get my brother and I out of the area safely, so we were war refugees.  For a while we lived in some refugee camps, surviving on rice and sometimes getting peanut butter from America.  I know my brother’s love of peanut butter started there, but I didn’t like it back then (now I eat it nearly every day with my oatmeal!).  We travelled through Austria to Germany, where we were given asylum by the government and provided for.  I was too young to understand what was happening to my family, how difficult this was for my parents even though they hid it.  None of us spoke the language, but my brother and I picked it up quickly since we were young.  We had lost our home and left most of our family behind in Bosnia, but Germany was home to me since it was all I knew.

My parents weren’t permitted to have jobs for the five years that we lived in Germany.  After these five years, the German government allowed us to either go to the United States or back to Bosnia, where they are to this day still uncovering land mines.  My parents decided that the United States held the most promise for my brother and I, even though we didn’t speak the language and the culture was foreign to us.  I can never repay them for the risks and sacrifices they made so that my brother and I could be safe.

But, back to the present. I am so thankful for Nikki for opening Yoga Squared – I again feel like I’ve found a home like I did when my family moved to Germany.  I hope that Nikki realizes how many people’s lives she has touched and positively affected, and I wish nothing more than for people to come to the studio and feel the positive vibes that yoga practice provides.  I’m really excited to see where my yoga journey takes me and what other positive aspects it will add to my life as I continue to grow and evolve.

I’ve learned how to truly breathe: how combining breath with movement can heal the body and mind.  My stress and anxiety have been reduced, teaching me how focusing inward and breathing can make those things which seem so overwhelming in the moment come into perspective.  I always just thought yoga was a stretching workout, but I’ve learned it’s so much more than that.  It helps improve your mind as much- if not more- than your body.

I wanted to thank Nikki and Kate for choosing me as the Yogi Transformer for the Month of April– it feels really nice to be noticed and appreciated for my effort.  I’ve never been able to dedicate myself to much, besides veganism.  Four months ago I had no idea yoga would have changed my life so much! I’ve been focusing a lot this month on the Inversion Immersion Workshop with Andrea and Kate!  I love getting upside down and seeing myself progress through (almost) daily practice. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story!  Namaste and I will see you around the studio!

"I Am Martina"

Kate's Yoga Journey

I'd like to share my yoga journey with you because I want people to know yoga is more than just cool poses and cute pants. It’s a deep-rooted, ancient practice with medicinal benefits; and the best part is, all you have to do is be able to breathe to reap the benefits. You don’t have to be flexible, or strong, or even a calm person to do yoga. You can show up in all your forms, even at the end of a downward spiral, and it will welcome you.

I'm here to tell you that rock bottom doesn't mean your life is ruined. It means you traveled a very long and exhausting path… and survived. Which means you're a human being with a story. We’ve all heard the cliché, “the good thing about rock bottom is that there's no place to go but up.” And it's true…but first you have to decide you don’t want to be there anymore, and then you have to make the decision to start climbing.

My yoga journey started when I was 21 years old. I was mentally ill, very unstable, with extremely unhealthy habits. Just when I thought I had nothing left to offer the world, I stumbled upon the practice of yoga. With commitment, and the guidance of my teachers, yoga turned into the vehicle in which carried me out of the trenches of darkness within myself... and back to a state where I could welcome peace again. 

I had an athletic childhood. My parents were gym owners, my father a personal trainer. I was competitive by nature, and a lot of the time, hard on myself for how I performed in sports. I knew how to physically discipline myself and grow stronger but I couldn't appreciate it because I didn't know how to take care of my mind. When we lost my father unexpectedly, I was 15 and it was a tragedy that inevitably turned our lives upside down. We moved quickly out of my childhood home; life as I knew it was gone. I spent most of my high school days dedicated to being an athlete, the social butterfly, party-girl type, however; and I threw my pain on the back burner, never dealing with it properly. My sexuality was a secret until I was 18, when I met my first real girlfriend.

Yet, the truth is not everyone accepted me back then, and that took a toll on my ability to be comfortable with myself. Self-loathing and depression were covered with a smile and I couldn’t wait to move off to college. So when I moved to Akron for school I was excited to live on my own and teach myself how to pay bills, keep an apartment, cook... all the stuff young adults learn. But I was also excited to go to parties and stay up all night too. It was fun at first, but it quickly snowballed into self-medication. The party scene became my life and I became a bartender to be closer to it. Self-hatred became by best friend, and overindulgence was my escape. Be it alcohol, coffee, bad habits, people, I overindulged in it anything I possibly could. My grades were not compromised, but my body and sanity was. My relationships were on the rocks, my body was malnourished, and I lost most my muscle mass from stress. I was diagnosed with mental health disorders along the way and I was numbing the pain instead of facing it. I felt like a wild animal in a cage, not knowing the key to freedom was within me.

Kate before yoga

Until....A friend asked me to go to a yoga class one night.  And I couldn't help but fall in love with how the teacher focused on awareness of how we FELT during the class, instead of how we looked. We focused on being still. We focused on listening to our bodies and calming our minds. We focused on loving ourselves for who we were in that specific moment. There was no performing, there was no judgment. Finally, I surrendered to who I’d become, and I was ready to face myself. I started going to yoga classes more and more and with each class I peeled back the layers of my identity in order to get to my roots.  

Through physical movements, breath, mantras, and nourishing food I started to collect the tools I needed to climb out of the dark hole I buried myself in. I could feel the toxins leaving my body, I could recall beautiful memories of my childhood that escaped my mind through my depression, and there were lots and lots of tears- as the built-up suffering and repressed emotion was finding its way out of my soul. Within a year or so, the good days outweighed the bad. I started to spend more nights in a yoga studio, or meditating at home, and less out on the scene. I gained back my muscle, my relationship flourished, my mindset stabilized, and my sense of oneness with all living things transformed me into a much softer, stronger, compassionate human being.

Kate having fun at Yoga Squared

Like all transformations, I had setbacks too. Days where I didn’t want to go, days where I wanted to hide in my room. I slowly realized those are the days we need to show up the most- and that reminder will always be there because the truth is, life gets tricky but it doesn’t do us any good to hide from it. I learned that staying grateful in the face of adversity is they key to more sunny days. I learned that yoga is a journey with no real destination, and that’s the beauty because our growth within yoga is thus, limitless. I learned wherever we are in life, wherever we’ve been, whoever we’ve become…we can choose to start climbing at any moment. We can choose to be the master of our minds, and create the life we want to live. We can choose to dig deep within ourselves to find the key to freedom…and yoga is a tool to help us with that.

I went on to graduate college from the University of Akron. I learned how to appreciate a few craft beers without overindulging. I learned to practice mindfulness & self-acceptance. I made new friends. I’ve learned its okay to walk away from that which no longer serves us. As this story comes full-circle, and though I’ll always be a student, I’m now a yoga teacher and get to share this practice with the world. It is one of the most humbling and honorable achievements of my life.

Thank you for listening.

Love + Light With Gratitude,

-Kate Woodford

Kate doing just fine!