Back to Breath

Hi fellow YS fam! You may have seen me around the studio, and when you do I'm probably indirectly avoiding eye contact and heading to my mat to plant down in child's pose (my favorite) before class begins. My name is Kait, and I'm here to open up about my struggles with anxiety and panic disorder, and how Yoga has helped me cope and learn to heal myself. Anxiety is such a common struggle, one that often is not visible from the outside, and I hope that this ensures anyone in the same internal battle that they are not fighting alone.

For as long as I can remember, I've been an over-thinker. I too often get stuck in my head and buried in negative thoughts. My anxiety is constant. I assume the worst possible scenario, fear the unknown, and worry about the past and future so much that I am always fighting to "be here now". Remaining present is something I have to work to achieve on a daily basis. When I am on my mat, I am closest to free of those drowning thoughts as it gets. The cues to breathe, the insightful messages the teachers deliver, the constant and rhythmic movement - it all adds up to the best therapy my soul has found yet.

Breathing is something that occurs so naturally for all walks of life, something we usually fail to even notice is happening, but it can often feel constricted when dealing with constant anxiety. There have been several times that I have ended up in the ER from a panic or anxiety attack because I have felt like I lost all control over my breath. My heart thumping out of chest, body shaking and sweating, and my throat feeling as if it's doing anything but allowing breath to flow easy. It is a terrifying experience to say the least. Yoga has given me the tools to help alleviate these side effects and come back to my breath when I stray too far. Not always do they work, but it is the closest thing to the strength of medicine for me. As soon as I feel the overwhelming rush of emotions approaching, I drop down to my knees and focus on achieving that yogic breath like we all do in a class. Being there on the ground and breathing deep and intentionally take me back to a feeling of safety. I remind myself over and over that if I have my breath, I'm living and thriving well. I tell myself that everything is going to be fine and that the slew of doubts and fears are all false. I remember the control and empowerment I feel when I'm dripping sweat in a Hot Power class but am able to use that same breath to push through to that blissful svasana.

When I first started practicing Yoga, it was through YouTube videos. I committed myself to a 30 Day Challenge with Yoga by Adrienne. At first, I was a little distracted and antsy through the videos, but as I became used to her voice and quirkiness, I started to find that place. You know what place I'm talking about, Yogis. I loved the feeling my mind and body achieved. I was gaining muscle, feeling confident, and my thoughts were transforming day by day. About a year later I started seeing ads on Instagram for Yoga Squared and was immediately interested! I planned on attending the first day of opening, but anxiety struck and I didn't make it. I was super bummed about it, so I called my bff (Katelyn!) who then was in teacher training, and asked her to join me the next day for a class for some extra motivation to actually make it there. We went in on the second day of YS's opening and I have been in love with the studio and people that fill it ever since. I remember my first class pretty vividly. I was nervous as hell, but soon all of those jittery feelings subsided and I was lost in the movement. We started off just focusing on breathing. The music was loud and my thoughts were quiet. My body was challenged through every pose. I cried through svasana (as I do every class now lol). I walked out dripping in sweat and already sore. I felt alive and present. I wanted more of it every day. It was a whole different world of feelings from what the YouTube videos were providing.

After that first day I went to every class I could make it to. Each teacher at YS offers a totally different experience and I enjoy them all. I am so thankful for all of the beautiful words and classes that are pieced together by each of them. So much love and encouragement is delivered in that room, and it's truly incomparable. If I'm having a bad day, I know where to go. If I need an extra reminder of my strength and control, I know my mats got my back. I love having a sacred space to release and heal & I love that I can show up and leave exactly as I am. Kate & Nikki work so hard to make sure Yoga Squared is a loving and comforting space for everyone that walks through that door. They're two extremely special people serving our community with only the best of vibes. I now could never imagine my life without Yoga, and I am so happy to have found YS when I did.

My advice to those struggling to breathe and stay present, is to use Yoga off the mat. Find that place - where even when you don't think you can't balance for one second longer, that breath and focus proves you wrong. Remind yourself of your strength and beauty the way a soulful flow does. You can always drop down to your knees and take that child's pose, and you should never feel hesitant to do so... we've all earned that moment to breathe. We all have the power to make it through our internal challenges. Keep pushing, keep believing, keep breathing. We've got this.

peace, love, & light to all of you!

Kaitlyn <3

No Mud, No Lotus

Heyyyy lovely humans, soulful people, stretchy, loving 5:00 attending Monday/Wednesday kids. Here’s my story and how I got here, cliff note version. Well, kind of.

First off, of all the times I’ve shared my story, I’ve never done it for a yoga studio.  Let alone the badass one that is Yoga Squared. So buckle up, buttercup. It’s about to get real.

Through junior high and high school I started to notice my negative mindset, habits, diet, and life. I wanted to play softball less and get high and sit on my couch more. I was deep in addictive behaviors, on all kinds of medication, struggling with self-harm, the need for acceptance, and the urge to be in a drugged out state every day. I failed out my senior year, lost my license, car, sense of self, friends, and the ability to look in the mirror or even the ability to FEEL. I was a mess. For the sake of you and the possibility that you’re reading this while eating breakfast, I won’t share an old photo of me. Ask me sometime and I’ll be glad to laugh at one with you.

In the deep of winter 2009 I woke up. I realized I wanted change but I didn’t know what that meant. I was 19, lost, and spiritually bankrupt (I always joke around now like why didn’t my mom just throw me some lavender oil when I was in high school? Anyway. Hakuna matata). Maybe you don’t know what rock bottom feels like. Maybe it wasn’t as dark as mine, but know that we all have a story and some parts of our story hang in the depths of the ocean until we get saved by a hot lifeguard that eventually brings us to the surface.

I mean, it wasn’t a hot lifeguard. But it was close to that feeling.

I started getting my high school diploma, hanging out in the basements of therapy buildings, stopping hard drugs, and eventually started doing yoga on YouTube. I mean there’s no wrong way to find your body and breath- except maybe not to at all, right?

On the third floor of a not so great building, in which I lived at the time, I’d do small stretches and be like “this feels good, I could get into this”.

It wasn’t until I got completely clean, jumped into recovery and gained more weight (you know how we do) that I went to my first studio in 2011-2012. I googled a studio near me and couldn’t believe there were some in Akron. Why didn’t anyone tell me these sweet places existed? That’s how I feel now. It was hot, it felt long, but it felt like I finally took a breath. I remember that first class like it was yesterday. It’s funny, some people will tell you “they won’t remember what you say but they will remember how you made them feel” and that’s what I got out of that. I felt a small reconnection with my body.

Since that first moment on the mat in a community class, I started going more regularly. I took a break for a little and attended small classes at my university, and checked out some other studios In the meantime. I barely remember first having the vision of possibly teaching yoga someday. I mean, I stumble on my words, speak too fast, have a lisp, all of that. But guess what? I didn’t crawl out of rock bottom to chill on my ass. I wanted to soar.

So… I enrolled in yoga training 200 hour level in 2014, and loved every second of it.  I jumped around from job to job, found one at an in inpatient drug treatment, continued school for my bachelors in social work, moved around, went through a break up, reevaluated my life, traveled, traveled again, went to another workshop for self-love-and-radiance-through-your-freakin-heart-chakra-goddess-self-awareness-whatever, went to another, wash-rinse-repeat… until 2017.

Last year, after reading about it for months, I finally jumped to Indiana to attend the Yoga through the 12 steps workshop (Y12SR).  I obtained my certificate here to be more professional in the area of teaching yoga to recovering addicts. DAMN!  Talk about my life dream, eh? I went to the codependency breaking barriers training after that in Virginia. I can’t get enough teaching, learning, reevaluating. I love it.

I want to tell you that life got 100% better when I got clean, started doing yoga, and that I float on through life with no problems eating vegan cookies and enjoying every moment of every single day.  But, that’s not the truth. I still struggle with things. I still get in my head with negative thinking, that I may not be good enough, smart enough, etc. That I am not good enough to do anything extraordinary.  I learn over and over again that isn’t true. That’s not my truth. How dare I sit on my butt and not learn more, when I can help save more lives, help ENRICH lives? If I received so much help from the support that saved my life, how dare I hold on to the gifts and not share it with others? Keep moving, growing, helping, laughing, joking, pushing forward. Yoga helps with that. You deal with yourself on the mat in the poses and breathing and being, and then you do it out in the world. We all have crap. How are you going to deal with it? I like the messy parts of life too, because if they challenged and changed you, it will help someone else. Always.

All of this inspiring-crap-that-sounds-lame-if-you-havent-changed-a-whole-lot-and-continue-to-do-so is probably the fire that has brought me to today. That helps me teach my 5:00 Monday/Wednesday spiritual badass all level flow. That pushes me to teach the girls in rehab about life. That pushes me to go to advanced yoga training to attain my 500 level.

I love what I do, love sharing it with students, and I love helping young girls that seem lost, like I was. I enjoy making people laugh, taking way too many photos of the people I love, rollerblading, volleyball, writing, goofing off, eating good food, singing over vegan chocolate chip cookies, traveling, blaring girly indie music, challenging people to look within, and chasing my freakin dreams. Shout out to Nikki and Kate, for being there always, and giving this girl a chance and a space to do cool stuff.

Overall, I knew recovery for me (and we are all recovering from something) had to do more than just my mental and emotional space between my ears and the 12 inches from my heart to my head. I knew my body needed to move. My suggestion for new students is find something you love doing that is good for you and jump in with both feet. Learn about yourself. Do something and regret it instead of saying shoulda woulda coulda. Don’t should on yourself. Do it. Be patient with yourself, quit looking at the person next to you on their mat, and enjoy the prana life force that springs from the bottoms of your hippy feet to the top of your beautiful head. You’re human. You’re spirit. You have so much to share and grow from and learn and love. And if I can transform, so can you.

From a Window Seat in the Sky: A Journey Onward and Inward

Fate is a funny thing. It seems to conjure opportunities when you least expect them, and bring experiences to you that you never knew you always needed. A lot of people talk about their path finding them. I never knew what that meant until I found yoga, and more specifically Yoga Squared.

Olivia Squared!!!!!

Many of you have been kind enough to get to know me and my story, but for those who haven't seen my space buns in the studio--I'd like to share how I found myself writing to all of you from a window seat in the sky. One connection away from a beautiful destination to share yoga and myself with the world.

Just three years ago I was leading a completely different life. Caught up in the turbulence of days filled with unhappiness, anxiety, and depression. I believe that it was the perfect combination of bad luck and manifested feelings that led to my sickness. I was diagnosed with cancer in January 2015. After twelve sessions of chemotherapy, and 21 rounds of radiation, I found myself in remission. Of course I was thrilled to be alive--but it was in that moment that I briefly panicked in the realization that I hadn't really ever figured out what my true purpose was to keep fighting. I promised myself that if I made it out alive I would start my journey to figuring it all out-a journey onward, and more importantly inward.

The stars aligned, and the first week I moved to Akron Yoga Squared opened its doors. Through this place of refuge, a place filled with light and love, I was able to begin the painful and beautiful journey of taking time to take care of my health and my heart. I've made friendships that have helped me become a more grateful, thoughtful, and passionate human being. This last year of my life in Yoga Squared allowed me to leave all of my remaining pain on my mat and start anew.

Starting anew can mean different things to different souls, but for me, reinventing myself has always come from seeing new places, learning new things, and meeting new people. I have been able to achieve all of that and so much more through my love of travel. From Africa to Europe, Central America, and soon South America in the Spring, I find comfort in the uncomfortable moments of being out of my element amongst the beauty of different cultures. This trip is unlike many of the others I have taken before. It has a return ticket like all the rest, but instead of it being a few days or weeks from now, it has given me the opportunity to stay for 6 months. All of that has definitely come with sacrifices, but all ones the universe was calling me to make. I quit my government job, gave up my apartment, and spent every extra penny over the last year minimizing my material possessions and paying off my debts. This has left me, for the first time, feeling free to take the time I have always needed to be who I always wanted to be. I worked tirelessly to get the this point, both financially and emotionally, but the truth is I really just feel so grateful to finally get a chance to find out what is worth fighting for in this life.

I want to thank each and every one of you for helping me to find the light in the dark, and leading me on a just beginning path of self-discovery and self-love. I will miss you all, and will carry a piece of Yoga Squared with me to the beaches of Costa Rica.

Namaste

Olivia

Nicole's Journey to Yoga Squared

Morning coffee at one of our favorite neighbors, Angel Falls!

I started practicing yoga in 2014 while training for the Cleveland Marathon. I was 27 years old and frustrated in many ways with where I was in life. Not that I wasn’t doing well—I had been a nurse for 5 years, I lived with my sister in an apartment I loved in Highland Square, and I was physically in better shape than I had been since high school. However, on the inside, I was unsure of where I was going. I had just gone through a difficult breakup, I felt stagnant in my career, and the weight of my negative outlook seemed to be taking over. Shortly after my breakup, I remember thinking—and even saying out loud to my mom—that I felt like a door to my heart was closing and that it might never completely reopen.

Post-marathon, 2014

                It’s an understatement to say that I needed a shift. I decided to run a marathon—it seemed like the perfect way to make something happen. I started to read training books that motivated me. My job changed at work, and I went from a nurse on the same busy floor to an RN-coordinator in the hospital-wide Palliative Care consult service. I remember reading a quote that played over and over in my mind during this time “I had to decide who I really was and who I really wasn’t; I was so sick of who I was becoming.”

                One day, a girl who attended my Crossfit gym—who was also a yoga teacher and a member of a running club I joined a few times—invited me to a Yoga for Runners workshop she was teaching at Release Yoga in Green. The workshop was $5 and it seemed like a no-brainer to attend—after all, I’d owned an unused yoga mat for the past seven or so years. I remember wearing socks into the class and realizing with embarrassment that I was the only one wearing them. I wasn’t expecting to like the class, but I knew my hamstrings needed help so I stuck with it. Surprisingly, when I left I felt really, really good. A small seed had been planted.

                At this time, I was running long training runs on the weekends and attending Crossfit and Pure Barre classes during the week. Slowly, I started to choose yoga classes over my other activities. I noticed that when I ran, it was easier to breathe. I felt less stressed when I got fatigued. The first time I cried in class, I was stunned. The instructor told us at the end of class to give ourselves a huge hug—“Because you deserve it, because you love yourself.” I felt overcome with emotion. This continued to happen—unexpected tears after my first twenty-mile run, tears on my mat, tears when I thought about how positive and accepting my yoga teachers were. I felt that door over my heart start to open.

                Because this is a blog, and not a novel, I’ll skip ahead a bit! About two weeks after completing my first (and as of now, only!) full marathon, my sister and I were in a car accident while driving home from California and I broke my hand. This put my yoga practice on hold for awhile but for the first time ever, I found that I couldn’t wait to get back to it. As soon as my cast came off, I looked for ways to resume my practice—folding up a towel under my left hand or modifying the classes. Yoga was now a part of my life that I didn’t want to let go.

                Two years after first stepping on my mat, I decided to apply for Release’s teacher training program. This was scary, but it also felt like such a natural step. I loved teacher training and the connections I made with my classmates (many of whom are now teachers at Yoga Squared!). Teaching was so intimidating, but it felt good. Working with patients in my capacity as a palliative care nurse changed my outlook completely, and I started to really realize how short life can be, and how important it is to strive for happiness and fulfillment even when change had always pushed me way out of my comfort zone.

Teacher Training grad party, 2016

                So much had changed in those two years since I’d found yoga. I was in a relationship again, I was training to be a yoga teacher, had become certified in Hospice and Palliative Care Nursing. My life had evolved, but something told me that I had another shift coming. I remember my boyfriend at the time asking me what I planned to do with my teacher training once it was complete. My response was, well, teach yoga! But the more we talked, the more I realized that it might be possible to turn yoga into a career. I’d felt such a dramatic change in myself as a direct result of the practice, and the thought of helping to guide others in a more real way to see the possibilities in life made me feel at peace.

                I was afraid to tell anyone that I was thinking of opening a yoga studio. I had no experience in business and in so many ways it was a spur of the moment decision. I feared negative feedback, of being told I was crazy for even thinking that owning a studio was something I could do so early in my career as a yoga teacher. However, I quickly realized that there was far, far more positive energy out there than I thought.

                The first place I looked at was 764 W. Market Street, Suite B…that’s right, the current location of Yoga Squared. When I saw the location, I knew it was perfect…on the outside. When my sister and I walked inside, we were a little nervous. The space was divided awkwardly into cubicles and was painted an ugly shade of light green (my family might have thought I was crazy for choosing mint as a major YS color!) and there were numerous other issues. However, the realtor I met with, Susan, told me right away that she could see my vision and that she thought it was possible. The building manager, Naeno, is a local DJ who has collaborated with YS on multiple events—he could see it too.

                Of course, the process wasn’t THAT easy, but almost! There were some stressful moments as I attempted to negotiate a lease agreement (which I ended up signing and over-nighting from Los Angeles while on a “last-hurrah” vacation with my best friends!), changed from full to part time at work for the first time in almost 8 years, and started to reach out to teachers. You might not think this about me, but I’ve always considered myself an introvert who needs a lot of alone time. I suddenly found myself working seven days a week, cold-calling and emailing teachers and other professionals, and learning about insurance, business plans, loans…it was overwhelming at times.

Redwoods, 2014

                However, things lined up in ways that I never could have expected. I’d heard about synchronicity, being supported by the universe…but I’d never experienced this phenomenon first hand until I started the real work of opening the studio. I saw the schedule materialize with amazing teachers—some friends, and some soon-to-be friends. My parents helped me in ways that I can’t put into words. One of my favorite yoga teachers, Sarah Clark, designed the YS logo and website and helped me clarify my vision of what the studio should look like in order to feel the way I wanted it to feel. My best friend Allison Kirby helped me build shelving, design the bathroom, and her dad put up the woodgrain wallpaper behind the desk (which he had laying around his house, just waiting for an occasion to use it!) and painted the lobby wall the perfect mint green—as a housewarming gift to me and the studio. And my electrician uncle worked with me on heating and lighting—not once, but twice!

It seemed like every time I needed help, it was there. I met Kelly, a business mentor I was connected with through the Women’s Network, an area agency dedicated to supporting women in business. Kelly and I clicked right away, and she was a neutral person for me to speak to about my anxieties and fears. Over time, Kelly and I became close friends, and now she’s a member at Yoga Squared! Even the lawyer I met with to reassure me about my lease agreement has been to multiple workshops at the studio. Recently, I had to reach out to my insurance agent to renew my policy, which brought me back to my communications with him as I was planning to open—he was incredibly supportive and made things so easy for me, and even stopped by the studio after it opened just to give his well wishes. It sounds crazy, but every time I had to tackle a difficult task, I met someone who somehow made it easy. After years of perceiving life to be difficult, unfair, not seeing the meaning or reason…I was surrounded by people who every single day reaffirmed the idea that we are all connected by universal support.

Neighborhood shapes

And then, the day came. Monday, December 5th, 2016. I’d worked a 16-hour shift at the hospital the day before, and had to be up bright and early to teach my first class at the studio at 5:30am. I remember arriving at the studio that morning. I was terrified. I had been told not to worry if no one showed up to classes in the beginning, and I prepared myself for the worst. But then, a few friendly faces arrived. My mom and my siblings. The sisters of my best friend who lives in Pennsylvania. I started to relax.

After that, we were off! I attended my first class at Yoga Squared at 9am that day, taught by Kevin James Karas. My parents were there, and he introduced them to the room in such a warm way. The class was packed, and after my practice I felt so calm and reassured. Yes, it was a stressful first week. A few long-time area teachers I really respected and admired showed up to take my classes during those first few days of business. As touched as I was that they were supporting me, there was a part of me that didn’t feel I deserved it. Which brings me to my biggest challenge, and my real yogi transformation… learning to not only believe in the others around me, in their help, in their support, in their belief in me. Learning to believe in, support, and love myself.

So much has changed in the year since that first day in the studio. Some of the changes haven’t been easy, but they’ve always felt exactly right (i.e., tearing down a major wall three months after the studio opened!). As I gained confidence in myself as a yoga teacher, a business owner, and even as a yoga student, I started to pay more attention to what I felt and what I wanted in my life. Most of you know that Katelyn and I met only recently—on December 6th, 2016, to be exact. Over the next few months, we became friends. The incompatible relationship I was in had been drifting apart and ultimately ended, which was another lesson in overcoming fear. Katelyn and I started dating soon after.

Kate knocking down the wall, March 2017

So, when I say that a lot changed in this past year, a LOT changed. Some of the changes I expected—longer hours, less “free” time, but an overall more fulfilling life. Others took me completely by surprise. My relationship with Katelyn is the most obvious, and has been impactful to my life—and my transformation as a yogi—on every level. She started out as a student of mine, signing up for my Beginners’ Series in January. If you were in the workshop—or you know Kate—you know that she jumped in right away and helped me plan unique things for us to discuss. She was currently in teacher training, and we talked a lot about our respective yoga journeys. She was one of the first yogi transformers. We got certified in Reiki 1. She graduated from her TT program and started teaching at the studio in February. She helped tear down the wall in March, which at that time felt symbolic to a lot of things that were going on in both of our personal lives.

Partnership + Love

It’s definitely the transformation this year—and in my life—that brings me the most happiness. Not that it’s easy to work day in, day out alongside your partner. Our relationship was pretty new when we started to work together, and there were—and are—ups and downs. There are those days when we can’t get away from our phones or out from under the weight of our daily tasks. When most “days off” are punctuated by trips to the studio…or shopping for the studio…or fielding texts and phone calls about the studio.

But despite the difficulties, we have the most fun life ever! She teaches me yoga, I teach her yoga. I “borrow” her songs, she tells me which one of mine she’s tired of hearing. The fact that she’s my student and my teacher holds me accountable in my own practice in a way that I didn’t expect.

Months have passed, and every day I feel more thankful for the gift of transformation. What I’ve noticed above all else is that most of these changes can’t be seen from the outside. When I first started practicing yoga, I was physically in the best shape of my life. Mentally, not so much. It’s taken years of both dedication and failure to arrive in the space I’m in now, and the absolute best thing is, I’m happier than I’ve ever been in SO many ways and I know I still have an infinite amount of lessons to learn! When I look to 2018—and Year 2 of Yoga Squared—I can say a few things that give me immense confidence and happiness. I’m in a happy, stable relationship with someone I can spend 24 hours a day with—someone who has brought YS into the light as far as marketing, creativity, and true partnership is concerned. My mom and my sister have both completed yoga teacher training and now teach at the studio. I respect and admire every teacher at YS from the bottom of my heart. And the students at YS have opened my eyes in a real, real way.

My dream when I first thought of opening a yoga studio in Highland Square was to bring a diverse group of students and teachers together and create an inclusive space where all feel welcome. Sometimes I look around and realize with amazement that my dream came true. I also hoped to see people walking around the Square with yoga mats—I’ll never forget the first time my best friend texted me to say “OMG I JUST SAW SOMEONE WALKING DOWN MARKET STREET WITH A YOGA MAT! Your dream is coming true!” This was probably the first week that the studio opened. That text brought me to tears.

Family @ Mustard Seed after Vinyl + Vinyasa: Pink Floyd

I’ve had so many of those moments since last December 5th. Unforgettable moments in time in which I truly felt every minute of my life come together for exactly my purpose on earth. When I think about how lucky I am I forget about all the 4:30am wakeup calls (hundreds of them 😉) and anxieties over The Wall, myself as a yoga teacher, and my personal life. I get to say that I teach alongside my mom, my sister, my girlfriend, and some of the people I respect and love most in the world. I get to teach my whole immediate family the practice of yoga. I am greeted every day by students who have become close friends.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read my story, and to all of you for being vital people in my life.

Namaste!

Nicole

Dave's Yoga Journey

Hi Friends!  

First off, I would like to thank Katelyn and Nikki for asking me to share my transformation story. It truly is a privilege. I found yoga a little over a year ago in a local studio in Akron. At this point in time I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety, soon after being diagnosed as bi-polar. In addition to that, I was battling a very serious eating disorder.  

I remember my first class very clearly. Right off the bat I disqualified myself by saying that I didn’t have the body to physically do yoga. At the same time, my ego told me that it was a good idea to take the most difficult class that they offered.  I now realize that’s probably the reason why I couldn’t do the majority of the poses in the class. I fell in love right away. For an hour and fifteen minutes I was able to stay present and live in the moment.  

Since then I have been hooked.  Yoga is a time for self-discovery and self-love for me.  Not too long after that, a very good friend of mine told me of a yoga studio that was opening in Highland Square. I decided to check it out. I fell in love with Yoga Squared. The instructors are awesome, and they have a good variety of classes.  I like that I can do things at my own pace; some days I want to take hot power class, and other days I just want a nice gentle stretch.  I love being a part of yoga studio where I can go in and they know who I am. If I do something like forget my mat they have me covered.  

Nowadays things are a lot different.  I now realize that I don’t have to judge myself for the things that I can’t do yet on my mat, but be grateful for the things that I can….and the journey.  

I’ve received so many benefits from yoga. It’s one of the ways I’m able to feel centered in life. I’ve been clean from my eating disorder since January of 2017, and have received help with mental health. I also think that an interesting note regarding my journey with yoga is that every health professional that I’ve come in contact with has been an advocate of yoga for me in some way..  

Thank you for reading

Namaste

Dave

Highland at Heart: Laura's Yoga Journey

I lived at 93 Grand Avenue until I was twelve years old, just down the street from Yoga Squared.  The fire station on Dodge Street was behind us and when the men got off duty they’d climb over the fence to throw back a few beers with my parents.  (Maybe that’s why my brother is a fire/medic)??  I used to walk up to Capri Pizza for my mom to pick up the pepperoni pizza that she would order for us and pay with the coupons that were cut from the boxes the pizzas came in.  My brother and I would walk to the Highland Theater on Saturdays and pay a dollar to spend the afternoon watching cartoons.  All the neighborhood kids would play kickball in the street with the gas attendants of the old Sohio gas station that was across from my house. I lived at the library in the summers.  I attended Portage Path Elementary and am still in touch with some of my grade school classmates.  When I met my husband many years later he lived next door to the house I grew up in, while I was living in one of the apartment buildings on West Market Street in the heart of the Square.  Needless to say, Highland Square is a part of my existence.

Moving forward a number of years, I currently live in West Akron and am a married mother of two beautiful girls, one in high school, one in college.  I work full-time at an oftentimes stressful job.  My parents have health issues so I try to help out as much as I can.  I’m an active volunteer.  Just like so many of you, I was(am) always busy and rarely made(make) time for myself.  I was sleep deprived as my insomnia that I’ve had since college, had gotten worse.  As a result, I was exhausted and being pulled in so many directions, trying to make everyone happy, trying to give, give, give until I reached a point in my life at the end of last year where I felt I didn’t know who I was as a person. As Me.  As Laura.  And I realized that although I had a good life overall, I was also incredibly sad, quick to anger and felt like I was sinking into an abyss.  Around this time, a co-worker of mine was sharing with us that her daughter was opening a yoga studio in Highland Square.  And as she excitedly shared the details of the studio’s progression, I became a little excited, partly because I have watched her daughter grow up over the years and partly because I had always been intrigued about yoga but was never brave enough to look into what it was about.  Plus this studio was opening in my beloved Highland Square! 

I decided to sign up for a beginner’s workshop in February and thus began my romance with yoga.  I. Love. It.  I love everything about the studio, I felt at home the first time I walked in.  Maybe because I remember frequenting the same space when it was a video rental store back in the day???  The instructors are down to earth, caring, and take a personal interest in the yogis.  I regularly run into fellow yogis outside of class and in class have reconnected with people whom I haven’t seen in forever.  I love that yoga is an ongoing practice and that there is so much to learn – trust me I have SO much to learn.  I love that you are doing it for yourself and not for others.  I love that I can practice at my own beginner’s pace and I don’t feel awkward.  I love that I don’t feel envious seeing someone fluidly moving into an inversion as I flip my dog on top of my neighbor.  I love closing my eyes, learning about the breath and how the poses affect parts of the body.  I love the names of poses and figuring out why they’re named that way.  And I love that some days I’m just not able to connect with the breathing or letting my mind relax, or being just plain gawky in learning some of the poses and that that’s okay!

 And slowly over these past 8 months I feel like I have regained some inner peace – I’m not mom, daughter, wife, sister, employee or volunteer while I’m in class.  I’m ME.  I’m not perfect and that’s perfectly okay.  I feel better about myself, I have lost almost 20 lbs, I’m more flexible and have toned up.  I am sleeping better.  Most importantly, with the help of yoga I am learning to let go of the guilt that I have built up over the years in not being able to do more or help more or solve all the world’s problems, lol!  Yoga is ageless and I look forward to continuing my physical, spiritual and relaxation journey.

Namaste,

Laura 

Returning to The Source

Returning to The Source: Cortney's Spiritual Journey

Anxious

Self-medicating

Incessantly right ALL the time

Egocentric

Negative

Angry

Irritated

Disconnected

I know what you are thinking…sign me up to be around that person!

Well, that person was ME, and unfortunately, that meant I got to hang with that person ALL the time through my early years into my late twenties.

Fortunately, life brought me opportunities for growth…lots of them.

And yoga and Reiki were my spiritual connections that shined the light on what was “real” during those times.

A decade of yoga has afforded me physical benefits such as: I can easily touch my toes, my blood pressure is an easy breezy 106/63, side crow is accessible on most days.

But, as I get older I quickly realize the real hurdles are:

·       Can I watch my breath for a full 60 minutes without incessant brain chatter,

·       is there an underlying sense of peace instead of anxiety in the back drop of my life,

·       can I find a way to release the resistance that I’ve accumulated on my physical trail?

With yoga and Reiki, most days, the answer to these questions are a resounding hell YES!

Years ago, during my teacher training, I learned about the 8th and last limb of yoga: Samadhi. “The state in which you reach union with the divine”

I remember thinking...Seriously!? I want THAT.

Yoga and Reiki provide me with glimpses into this state of being; the more I practice the longer the glimpses last. Sometimes its only seconds, sometimes hours.

Life continues to bring me more opportunities for growth. Always at the perfect time.

Enter Yoga Squared…

After two years of not teaching yoga and only practicing at home, I found YS, a truly special community like none I’ve seen over the last decade.

And again, I began to grow and evolve.

The biggest shift is with my perspective…

I see glimpses of the “old” me in others’ stories, not the drunk or angry me, instead, now I see it for what it really is…the confused, disconnected me.

But it makes me happy, not sad because I know these souls are teetering on the edge of realizing their wholeness, their perfection, their freedom. Just as I am.

The Tao - my favorite spiritual text - says it best:

Watch the turmoil of beings,

But contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe

returns to the common source.

Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don’t realize the source,

you stumble in confusion and sorrow.

When you realize where you come from,

you naturally become tolerant,

disinterested, amused,

kindhearted as a grandmother,

dignified as a king.

For me – yoga brings me back to that “common source!”

AND that’s why I’ve been having a full-on love affair with YS for the last 9 months. Because it has not only reignited my deep love for yoga and life (and my husband who just started practicing, can I get an Amen!!), I see it creating a space for so many to open to this transformation. Every single Yoga Squared teacher, I SEE YOU, and extend my sincerest gratitude for creating a space that allows us easy access to “returning to the source” as the Tao says.

The words from before having now shifted…

At ease

Clear and sober

You can be right this time (although my husband might say differently)

Mindful

Content, yet eager for more

Grateful

Connected

My spiritual connection, often found through the practice of yoga, has made me a better wife, a better sister, daughter, friend, employee, and my favorite…a better mom. (I love you Zach!)

All of you, the YS community, make me better just being in my life, whether you know it or not, because it’s our subtle exchange of energy that I feel and cherish!

AND that, my friends, is yoga!!

xoxo

Square Rat Meets Yoga Mat

Hey friends hey! It’s your girl TT from the front desk! First off I would like to thank my KitchenAid for providing me endless motivation to exercise more, my extensive collection of off brand black leggings which are incredibly forgiving, and last,  all my haters. Just kidding-I don’t think I have too many haters, or at least I hope not.  

Around five years ago, while incarcerated, I started developing an interest in yoga. Five years ago I was a very different person then I am now. I was serving time as a result of a very serious drug problem I had developed through my teenage years. My loving mother (god bless her) dropped off a picture book of yoga poses to the community correctional facility I resided in at the time. I understood that my life was out of order, and I thought maybe a yoga picture book would solve the problem, so I started to practice a few of the poses. It did definitely help, but little did I know, my journey was just beginning.  

Fast forward two years, and my interest in yoga was once again awakened- this time in rehab.  Though this time, I had furthered my practice to actually involving an instructor and a mat; I was coming up in the world! I was also finally willing to give sobriety a try, and I'm happy to say I have been sober and practicing yoga ever since.  

My love affair with yoga began in earnest when Yoga Squared opened. I had been practicing off and on at another studio. That studio abruptly closed and in the same month I realized one of my oldest friends was opening her own studio in Highland Square! Having been born and bred a true square rat, this was more than perfect for me.  Even better, I get to sit at the desk and meet hundreds of amazing people who inspire me every single day.   I never felt that I really fit in at other studios and Yoga Squared completely changed that.   I was welcomed with open arms and open hearts into one of the best damn communities I have ever had the pleasure of being a part of.  

As a result of being welcomed so warmly into this community, I have been able to grow massively in my practice and my emotional and spiritual space.  Being new at yoga can be very intimidating and I never felt I had the right body, the right mindset, or even the right look and I have finally figured out that NONE of that is a real thing!  Yoga Squared has provided me with a space to giggle and fall, and even cry when i need to do it.  I can be vulnerable with the people around me, and provide space for others to be vulnerable with me.  I have also finally been able to be proud of my body! I feel strong and healthy, this is the first time in my life i have been able to touch my toes!

Y’all may not know it, but getting to know you, and your names (most of the time) has been one of the best experiences of my life.  Meeting you, your mothers, your kids, and even sometimes your dogs is my absolute shit!  The way I live my life today is still certainly not completely balanced (as anyone who has practiced next to me might have noticed), but I am capable of being present, and being open with the people around me, and it is rewarding beyond belief.  I look forward to practicing with you in the future, or just sitting on the floor eating potato chips, whichever one feels right in the moment.  I love all of you, thank you for all you do!