live your truth. words i’ve been saying, thinking, and manifesting every single day for nine months. and only recently have i truly realized the power they carry behind them.
honestly, it started off as a joke. i was living my truth by consuming too many vegan zucchini muffins at a time and staying out too late exploring the stars with friends. at some point along this impulsive journey, i began to comprehend what i was saying. live your truth. live your truth. and then i started panicking, because i was fiercely unsure of what my truth actually was, and i had been for a while.
for about two years i struggled with a lot of inconsistency, uncertainty, and self doubt. i was so genuinely confused about so many things in my life, and that led me to a mindset i don’t really want to go back to. i spent my energy comparing every part of my existence to others, which was incredibly draining. in high school i was a national merit commended scholar, but i vividly remember crying after getting my results from that qualifying test back because i didn’t think i did well enough compared to some of my friends.
from an age so young i can’t even remember, i thought i wanted to be a doctor. i was definitely influenced by my family growing up because my dad is in the medical field and his life seemed incredibly exciting, even until i was around 17. my entire life, i’ve also been passionate about photography and videography. one of my earliest memories is asking my dad over and over again to hold the family video camera so i could see through the lens. making short films became a more serious passion as I grew older and had more chances to explore the creative depths of the artistic side of my brain.
this is when everything changed. i went to costa rica for two weeks and my eyes were opened to the magnitude of the earth, our society, and our possibilities as humans. I realized that i didn’t want to (and don’t have to) live my life as a checklist. we are infinite and capable of things we can’t even comprehend. life isn’t a linear path with a single end goal and i learned that I am able to cultivate what makes me happy and in turn, that can become success. I wasn’t happy with where i was, what i was doing, or the people who surrounded me. i thought that by deviating from the safe plan i’d had my whole life, i was being dropped into the middle of a vast ocean and somehow would have to figure out a way to get back to shore. even with this fear, i did it. it wasn’t easy or immediate, but baby steps paved the way. i changed my major (too many times). and eventually things kind of started to fall into place.
one of the things was yoga.
i attended my first yoga class on dec 28th, 2016 and my soul was heavy. thanks to a beautiful and motivating friend, i brushed the winter off my shoulders and welcomed a warm hug from the yoga studio. afterwards, i was glowing. i specifically remember the teacher saying “you are exactly where you are supposed to be,” which truly resonated with me because i had been struggling with that for what seemed like an eternity. those few words gave me peace to accept where i was and the knowledge that i had the power to change it if i wanted to. i felt stronger.
since that first practice, i haven’t gone more than a week without a physical yoga practice. I became obsessed and amazed at how yoga made my body feel and the surprising amount of things i was capable of doing. i stuck with it and found a studio where i go to school - here i found my love for inversions and arm balances. even though i was initially attracted to yoga simply because of how it made me feel, it was amazing to see that with commitment and dedication i saw my practice grow and develop, igniting a fire in my whole life. i remember the first time i finally held running man and my legs no longer felt like they were attached to the ground. it was exhilarating and i became extremely committed to my practice. because I was so lost, yoga gave me guidance. i looked forward to going to class every day i could and practiced in my room when i couldn’t make it to the studio. yoga gave me something to smile about. my practice became a safe, non-judgemental, encouraging place where i could escape insecurity and doubt. i was more motivated and happy than i had been in a long time.
I was in my teacher training when i discovered yoga squared. i immediately loved the space, the location, and the people from the minute i stepped through the doors. I got to know Nikki and Kate better through a videography project with a local publication creating a story, and the rest is history. I kept coming back, taking photos, and filming videos for the studio. After spending more time at YS, i became closer with several of the teachers who gave me so much advice for my own teacher training. the people in this community are absolutely incredible and i’m forever grateful to them for their friendship. all the beautiful humans there have been so supportive and have truly changed my life. there’s no chance i would be where i am now if i hadn’t set foot in yoga squared & welcomed the love that radiates from that space.
i’m a completely different person now than i was two or three years ago. i’ve let go of a lot of the negativity in my life and i’ve found a lot more love for myself (and others). i have a greater understanding of the universe and i’m excited to continue learning. i’m not saying every day is perfect - there are some days where i doubt everything i’m doing and fall back on comparison, but those days are few and far between. everything is still a journey. i’m still figuring out exactly who i am and what cultivates the most happiness. my yoga practice and the people i’ve met because of it have given me so much guidance and have invited so much love into my life.
live your truth, LOVE your truth, & the rest will come.